i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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