Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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