I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
