i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
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They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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