You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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