My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
