It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You are a genius and a whore.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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