I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
