so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
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Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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