Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
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I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
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Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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