Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't deserve a penis
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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