I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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