question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
