Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
