You did not just play the dead husband card again.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize