it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I need moral support for this bender
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
