guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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