Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
