she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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