Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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