So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
