Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
