You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize