It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
