had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
