I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
