Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
