Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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