just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
