Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
