Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
