No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Text me some of your sweat
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
