Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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