My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
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You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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