It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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