after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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