Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
