Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize