Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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