Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
