i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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