No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I still have a little drunk in my system
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
