Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
