I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
