Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
