dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We are two peas in an std pod
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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