I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
