I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
