The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
