new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
