i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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