Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
