I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
