I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
