Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
