I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
