bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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