O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Will exercising make me less horny?
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