Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
